- Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
- Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink .
- For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer .
- A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rollingover and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
- You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
- Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem
Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES; NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS
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